Widowers make occasional appearances in Icelandic sagas of the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries and—even though Old Norse did not even have a word for them—they exhibit some distinctive behavioral patterns. This article uses the framework of bereavement studies to examine the interplay of gender, affect, and small-scale politics in the wake of the loss of a wife. It proposes two archetypes of dysfunctional bereaved husband, observable in the medieval Norse world which the sagas describe (ca. 800–1300): the widower on the warpath and the widower on the bridal path. Both followed cultural scripts for widowers’ conduct, but did so imperfectly, in a manner that exposes their society’s constructions of masculinity, its prescriptive family codes, and the clandestine channels linking private emotional turmoil with public socio-political disruption. My typology of maladjusted Norse widowers offers heuristic tools for further study of bereaved husbands in other periods and places, as well as for comparison with bereaved wives and with men in other life-stages.

There is evidence that older widowed women provide narrative accounts of the events that led up to the deaths of their husbands. These accounts are qualitatively different from other parts of their interviews. This study examines interviews from older widowers and asks what features characterise their narrative accounts of their wife's death. The data show that men do speak of the death of their wife in a qualitatively different way than they do of other matters: women speak emotionally whilst men speak of their behaviour. Using Kirsi, Hervonen and Jylhä's typology of male care-givers, we find that their interviews are characterised by four types of speech: factual, agentic, familistic and destiny speech. In addition, we find two additional speech types related to blame – one related to medical negligence (a subset of destiny speech) and one to self-blame (a subset of familistic speech). We argue that the use of these patterns of speech allow men to preserve their masculine identities at a time when bereavement puts them under intense strain.

This article analyses the strategies that older widowers used to assert their masculinity during in-depth research interviews by the author, a middle-aged woman. Twenty-six widowers living in Atlantic Canada and Florida in the United States and who were aged from 56 to 91 years participated in the study. The author analysed the interviews from a symbolic-interactionist perspective that looks at the world from the perspective of those being studied. The widowers used various strategies of impression management to reinforce their identity as ‘real men’ during the interviews. These strategies included taking charge of the interview, using personal diminutives and endearments to assert control, lecturing the interviewer about various topics including differences between men and women, and bringing attention to their heterosexuality by referring to themselves as bachelors and commenting on increased attention from women. The paper chronicles the process of discovery of the importance to the study participants of portraying themselves as men. It was found that older widowers' identity as ‘real men’ is precarious because they lack three essential components of masculinity: being in a heterosexual relationship, being employed, and being young. The article makes extensive use of the participants' quotations to demonstrate their attempts, through impression management, to maintain a masculine identity while discussing the very topics that threatened it.