This is the third in a trilogy of articles for NTQ addressed to the ‘noises off’ supplied by Shakespeare’s earliest co-stars: the baited bears that competed for trade, fame, and patronage for the duration of his career as an actor-playwright. ‘Shakespeare and the Three Bears’ (NTQ 106, May 2011) sketched this context, exposing as a canard, via a mistakenly omitted comma, that there ever was a bear named Harry Hunks. ‘Shakespeare and the Naming of Bears’ (NTQ 135, August 2018) examined the influence of these rival entertainments on the structure and detail of Romeo and Juliet. ‘Shakespeare’s Polar Bears’ now expands that investigation by seeking to offer a long view of the dramatist’s association with, and attention to, such foul animal ‘sports’, and to supply a comprehensive context for the most famous stage direction in theatre history.