This chapter explores one of the drastic effects of Sierra Leone’s Sexual Offences Act (SOA) by analysing the cases of young men and boys imprisoned for sleeping with their girlfriends. Within Pademba Road, Freetown’s central prison, young men face extreme punishment meant to sever pre-prison ties. SOA sentences result in isolation and separation from the outside world and other prisoners. LB and Larry, the cases analysed in this chapter, employ different tactics to survive, partially adapting as docile prisoners, partially engaging in resistance tactics. The chapter highlights the informal power structures within the prison, where ‘red bands’ hold sway, often surpassing the authority of guards. The text also points out the unpredictability and resource challenges within Sierra Leone’s criminal justice system, impacting marginalised individuals. The chapter portrays young men navigating the SOA’s consequences, challenging the legal system’s effectiveness, and raising questions about its impact on relationships and intimacy.

Language plays a pivotal role in shaping social norms regarding interpersonal violence in Sierra Leone. Language is a structure of meaning that shapes perception of self and others. Linguistic practices are rooted in inferences contributing to understanding connections, including causality. Linguistic categories reflect and are influenced by social categories, making language an arena of political struggle. Terminologies for violence have evolved over time, influenced by historical forces, public discourse, and legal reforms. While legal discourse tends to cluster, local perceptions differentiate between ‘normal and acceptable’ and ‘unacceptable’ forms, considering intent, outcome, and potential for reconciliation. Men and women both engage in violence but in different ways, influenced by specific language and metaphorical expressions. Language shapes the moral economy of relationships, bridging community perceptions, state discourses, and external influences. Studying interpersonal violence within its cultural and linguistic context can therefore provide deep understanding.

This chapter explores the enforcement and impact of laws governing violence in relationships involving minors, particularly sexual offences, in Sierra Leone. It reveals the challenges arising from the disconnect between legal regulations and real-life experiences. Sierra Leone’s criminal justice system abstracts complex social and emotional factors, reducing individuals to victim and perpetrator roles. Age, a critical element, differs in interpretation – numerical in the law, social in society. Critics contend that these laws excessively criminalise consensual relationships, resulting in the incarceration of young men and stigmatisation of young women. The laws can also be used to dissolve relationships between affluent young women and economically disadvantaged young men. Moreover, they discourage the reporting of sexual violence cases, fearing retaliation or social stigma. This study advocates a nuanced approach to tackling intricate societal problems, emphasising the need to grasp the practical consequences of laws and policies, and thereby bridge the divide between legal intentions and societal outcomes.

This urban ethnography of violence in intimate relationships in Sierra Leone reveals its multifaceted nature, gender dynamics, and the complex interplay of domestic, community, and state interventions. It challenges victim–perpetrator narratives by highlighting relationship violence’s complexities, such as its use for expressing love or punishment. The study contextualises violence within Sierra Leone’s historical and geopolitical framework, emphasising the interaction of structural violence with local contexts. It examines women’s agency in relation to violence and the co-existence of love and violence in the society’s moral economy. Gendered aspects of violence show differences in how men and women perceive and enact violence. The study analyses community and family mediations of violence and discusses how especially men face barriers towards state reporting. State laws greatly impact sexual relationships involving minors, shaping young people’s lives, household formation, education, and social relations. In challenging conventional perspectives, the book provides valuable insights for policy-makers and scholars.

This chapter explores the complex interplay between love, desire, responsibility, and violence in intimate relationships, focussing on Sierra Leone. It emphasises the need to examine the acceptance of violence without excusing it, advocating for a local, phenomenological perspective. It highlights gendered expectations and experiences of violence, acknowledging the impact of historical, sociocultural, political, economic, and legal factors on agency. In Freetown, violence is not seen as separate from love but can co-exist within relationships. Within a moral economy of relationships, careful distinctions are made between acceptable forms of violence to protect and sustain relationships and unacceptable forms that rupture and destroy. External observers frequently misconstrue these dynamics, perceiving them as excessively violent and uncritical. Considering embedded agency and intersectional factors is crucial when addressing relationship violence and developing effective policies. Intimate violence is a multifaceted, dynamic phenomenon that necessitates nuanced understanding of meaning-making and experience.

This chapter emphasises the multifaceted influences that impact individuals as they initiate, sustain, and terminate relationships. These relationships extend beyond the immediate couple, involving broader kinship and societal frameworks. People make nuanced distinctions between various relationship forms and the roles and responsibilities assigned to partners. The chapter highlights the significance of local terminologies in conveying the manifestation of pleasure, different relationship forms, and emotional dynamics. While the fluidity of contemporary relationships in Freetown may appear less burdened by inequality than rural marriages, they encounter their own set of challenges. Such relationships lack reliable foundations, potentially collapsing and leaving individuals without the support of family or community. Additionally, violence can emerge from power imbalances, manipulation, and the complex interplay of emotions and entitlement. This chapter sheds light on how love and relationships are intricately interwoven with societal expectations, personal aspirations, and economic constraints, ultimately shaping the emotional landscape of Freetown.

This chapter analyses how external violence impacts on relationships and social dynamics in Sierra Leone, particularly in urban areas. The civil war (1991–2002) disrupted historical marriage and gender roles, reshaping relationship dynamics. In contemporary Sierra Leone, youth face socio-economic obstacles that alter their path to adulthood. They navigate being stuck in youthhood through favours and debts, challenging conventional expectations like formal employment and marriage while securing their future. Urban settings encourage diverse relationship practices, allowing for more open exploration of desire. However, families still play a significant role in mediating conflicts between partners. Youth, unable to establish formal alliances through marriage, create relationship forms that bridge personal desires, societal expectations, and economic constraints. Understanding these complex relationship dynamics is vital, as violence can arise from the tension between personal aspirations and the demands of committed relationships. In urban Sierra Leone’s complex social landscape, violence, intimacy, and social structures are intricately intertwined.

This ethnography explores violence in relationships in Sierra Leone, using the ‘teeth and tongue’ metaphor to reveal the complex interplay between love and violence, particularly in gender dynamics. It examines how global agendas lead some states to extend regulatory control into intimacy, often perpetuating neo-colonial mechanisms. The study probes the clash between rigid state laws and the nuanced intricacies of lived experiences, analysing the impact of ostensibly impartial rights discourses. The book analyses the effects of external violence on relationships (Chapter 2), contemporary relationship dynamics in Freetown (Chapter 3), and critiques prevalent conceptualisations of love and violence phenomenologically (Chapters 4 and 5). It then examines the mediation and regulation of violence by households and communities (Chapter 6), state courts for adults (Chapter 7), and the legal treatment of minors (Chapter 8). The book traces the impact of new legislation on young men who were imprisoned and their partners (Chapter 9).

How do adults decide whether to report relationship violence to the police in Sierra Leone? This chapter analyses the intricacies, risks, and societal consequences, highlighting the role of gender, social status, and influence. Drawing from ethnographic accounts and first-hand experiences, it examines how, after the civil war, relationship violence, previously a private matter, became a public and political concern. Legal reforms impact addressing domestic violence, and both men and women face challenges reporting violence, such as social status loss, family/community fines, and social exclusion. In contemporary Sierra Leone, gender parallelism is not a fact but a strategic construct subject to negotiation and transformation. Individuals navigate conflicting gender norms, expectations, and responsibilities, highlighting the complexities of masculinity and femininity within a changing social and legal landscape. Effective policies should align with local contexts and promote dialogue to render reporting violence possible and promote gender justice.

This chapter analyses household and community mediations of violence in Sierra Leone, which emphasise social relationships over harmony. These non-state dispute resolutions consider overall character rather than specific actions, with (character) witnesses playing vital roles and blame being shared amongst disputing parties. Informal mediations prioritise maintaining social groups over individual or relationship harmony. Grievances are deemed inevitable but must be contained within individuals through rituals like ‘swallowing’ to prevent wider community disruptions. Proximity, gender, and kinship dynamics influence case-dependent assessment, often leading to harsher punishment for women despite their prominence in mediation. The chapter challenges the notion of harmony ideology and emphasises the difficulty of forgiveness. Swallowing grievances aims to preserve relationships and contain conflicts while minimising state interference. Sierra Leoneans must choose between informal and state mediations. Institutions in this legal pluralism highlight different aspects – fact vs context, acts vs character, preservation vs rupture – resulting in different outcomes.

This book synthesises a decade of engagement with Sierra Leone, exploring the myriad manifestations of violence in relationships and its negotiation, mediation, and punishment. Employing ethnographic methods, participant observation, multi-perspective interviews and focus group discussions, the study also incorporates ‘love’ and life histories, complemented by primary and secondary sources. Research collaborators played a crucial role in challenging and shaping interpretations. The study emphasises deep ethnography, embodied methodologies, relationship cultivation, respectful collaboration, and a nuanced approach in addressing these sensitive social, political, and legal topics. The chapter introduces pivotal research sites, highlights the significance of ethical considerations, and underscores the transformative impact of sexual violence during the early stages of the researcher’s work and her community’s response. Furthermore, all research participants were fully informed of the research’s objectives and provided oral consent. To ensure anonymity, identifying details of some research collaborators were omitted, pseudonyms used, and details altered to safeguard collaborators.